The Drive-In B-Movie Classic: Revenge of the Boxelder Bugs

This article kinda goes hand-in-hand with the previous one because thanks largely to the, "Summer That Wouldn't Die", we get infested -once again- with the nuisance beetle called the Boxelder Bug. I'm telling you, Nature, if you'd just make up your damn mind a little sooner and maybe settle Fall in like you're supposed to, these little pests wouldn't be an issue. But nooooo... you've got to give an already warn out and lengthy season one last hurrah because you owe it money or something. Stay classy, Nature.

Anyway, Boxelder Bugs. So yesterday it was like nearly 80 degrees out and as I was hanging outside waiting for the kids to get home from school I notice a veritable swarm of these filthy insects hovering everywhere and landing on anything they please, including the side of the house that faces the sunniest part of the landscape, and the car. Oh, and just in case you're wondering what I'm talking about, the following is a picture of said unwanted intruder:

They're not really harmful or anything, and evidently they are herbivores so they likely won't sink their mouth-parts into your precious human blood supply, but that's not the point. What they are -like so many of Earth's other worthless organisms that I won't get into right now (I'm looking at you, giant wasps)- are pointless and stupid. I guess they just congregate to mate or something. Look, I don't know I'm not an enti... entymo... Bug Scientist. What I do know is that anything that collects in that high of numbers has got to be up to something. I have my suspicions that eventually there are going to be enough of these critters hanging about to slowly, and without much of a struggle by the caught-unawares human population, take over the World.

I've got my eye on you, Boxelder Bugs... Also I'd like you to meat my friend Hard Frost. He'll be in town real soon. Your days are numbered.